


left my head (and my heart)

by weatheredlaw



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 13:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6196954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m glad to have met you, Cassandra Pentaghast.”</p><p>Cassandra smiles. “And I, you, Bianca Davri.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	left my head (and my heart)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vehlr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehlr/gifts).



> KEYWORDS: SELF-INDULGENT, FAST AND LOOSE WITH CANON DIALOGUE, LADIES WHO ARE FRIENDS BECAUSE HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY
> 
> because i need a whole lot less bianca-bashing in this fandom and she deserves better

It should be…hard. That’s what she thinks. It should be so _hard_ to see him with someone else – to see him happy. She should be jealous, she should be boiling from the inside out, she should want to flip his stupid little table over and remind him that she still _exists_ , no matter what has tried to pry them apart over the years.

But she can’t. Because one of the only things she ever wanted was for them both to be happy, together or apart – and he _is._ He is so _happy_ , and what could she ever say or do to make that untrue?

Why would she want to?

She should be livid because it’s a human woman, all legs and long fingers and strangely placed ears – humans have the strangest ears, do they even _know_ – but.

He is still happy.

And, so, Bianca is happy.

Well – she tells herself this. Whether it is true remains to be seen.

 

* * *

 

 _Stones_ , the human is kind. She is so _very_ kind.

“You are Bianca, yes?”

 _Shield up, don’t make eye contact, she has every tool you have, she will pick you apart_ –

“Yeah,” she drawls. _Defenses, check._ “Half the girls in the Merchant’s Guild are named Bianca. The other half are Helga. I lucked out.”

The woman laughs. “Indeed. Varric speaks of you often.”

 _I’ll bet._ “Well, you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”

“Oh.” The woman shakes her head. “No, I meant nothing unkind, I apologize. It’s only…well, he has many good memories of your time together. I like his stories.”

Bianca sits up a little straighter. “He’s always been good at that.”

“Yes.” The woman extends her hand. “I am Cassandra.”

“Bianca. For formal introductions.”

Cassandra smiles. “It is good to finally meet you. Would you join us in the tavern for dinner, then? I’m sure you know by now how _difficult_ the Hinterlands can be.”

“Not the word I’d choose.”

Cassandra sighs. “I was trying to be…diplomatic.”

Bianca chuckles. “I’d rather walk through the Fade.”

“I have,” Cassandra says. “I do not recommend it.”

 

* * *

 

Varric seems…frozen. He doesn’t touch his food, staring from one lover to a former, and Bianca is acutely aware of how he sizes up this new relationship.

It doesn’t make her feel guilty, not at the start, but…

 _Tomorrow_ , she thinks. _We’ll deal with this tomorrow._ She drains her wine and stares at the wall beyond Cassandra’s head. _Human’s trying a little hard. She must really love him. Poor thing._

Outside the tavern, Varric puts a hand on her shoulder.

“What are you playing at?”

“Nothing. I was invited to stay here by _your_ Inquisitor. Cassandra has been kind enough to deign to _speak_ to me, Varric.”

“It’s not safe for you to be here.”

“You said that already, and I told you. The Guild’s got bigger problems than my whereabouts. Nice of you to care, though.”

He shifts. “What about what’s-his-name?”

“Bogden is in Orlais. He knows I’m here.” She pauses. “He…he trusts me.”

“Must be able to throw you pretty far.”

“You don’t _get_ to speak to me that way,” she snaps. “You don’t _get_ to act like I’m the one who wrecked this, Varric. Alright? I am _done_ explaining myself to you.”

Cassandra steps into the moonlight, her hands raised. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah.” Bianca turns on her. “It’s just fine. I hope you know how much _baggage_ this dwarf comes with, Seeker. Because it’s _heavy_ , and if you don’t drop it, it’ll drag you down.”

 

* * *

 

She has a hangover in the morning, and the aching, nervous pain in her stomach still won’t dissipate. She moves into the yard of the keep, watching soldiers begin to set up for training exercises.

“Do you know how to use a sword?” Cassandra speaks from over her shoulder, and Bianca jumps. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I…no. It’s fine.” Bianca slumps a little in her boots. “I haven’t used one in ages,” she admits.

“Here.” Cassandra hands her a blade – short, a little wide with a nice, broad handle. “I have…a corner of Skyhold to myself.” She leads them to a trio of training dummies. “It keeps my mind away from less…ideal thoughts.” She gestures toward one. “Perhaps you’d like to do the same.”

Bianca looks at the sword in her hand. She isn’t sure she wants Cassandra to see how pitiful she is, sword in hand or not – but the idea of _beating_ something, something that can’t fight back, something that will give under her blade and hands –

She takes a swing, and feels…

Better. So much better.

The Inquisitor, a kind, young human who is far too young for all this, wanders over, Varric and that Tevinter mage in tow.

The mage laughs outloud. “ _Varric._ Are you watching this? It’s incredible.”

“It’s…something.” He leans against the wall, and Bianca gets a little boost.

In the stables, she wipes the sweat from her brow. Varric puts a hand on her elbow.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I…I was upset, last night.”

“I could tell.”

“I know you didn’t like finding out the way you did, I know you—”

“Varric.” Bianca turns and meets his gaze. Neither flinches. “You know you never need to explain yourself to me. You never need to tell me you’ve moved on or fallen out of love with me or anything. Because I will always care for you, no matter what. You _know_ this, don’t you?” He nods. “She’s a good woman, Varric. You’re lucky to have her. And she’s patient. Can’t believe she’s been putting up with your shit for so many months.”

He laughs. “Yeah, I, uh, I seem to attract all these really great women I don’t deserve.”

“You deserve her. You deserved me, too, you know. We…we deserved each other.”

“Yeah…”

She sighs. “I’m always sorry for what I did. You know that, right?”

“I didn’t.”

“Well…well I _am._ ” She picks up her pack. “I just don’t know how to say these things all the time. Pretty sure you know what that feels like, Varric.”

“I do.”

Bianca nearly embraces him, nearly wraps her arms around the man she has loved for so long – but she only nods. “Right. Let’s…let’s get this over with.”

 

* * *

 

She expects…more than this. He’s angry, because of course he is – she shouldn’t have mentioned Bartrand, she knows how much it upsets him, his brother, locked up somewhere, rotting away. But.

The Inquisitor frowns. “You’re saying lyrium is…alive?”

“It must be,” she insists. “It’s been infected with the Blight! Larius said—”

“Larius?”

“A Warden mage, he wanted to help my research—”

Varric shakes his head. “Larius was there at Corypheus’s prison. And he _wasn’t_ a mage.”

Cassandra folds her arms over her chest. “Possessed, then. If he was so eager, and if you gave him a key, he would know precisely where to find the location. He could pass that information along to anyone.”

“Why did you come?” The Inquisitor asks. “If you knew this was the case, then why help us?”

“Varric wrote to me, told what they were doing with the lyrium. I wanted to make it right.”

Cassandra tips her head. “You could not have known what would transpire.”

“Agreed.” The Inquisitor sheaths his sword. “No one could have predicted this.”

“Maferath’s _balls_ she didn’t,” Varric snaps. “I _told_ you how dangerous this shit is, you know what happened to Bartrand.”

“Which is _why_ I wanted to help! Look!” She tosses the key at his feet. “I fixed it, didn’t I? It’s as right as I can make it.”

Varric scowls. “This isn’t one of your _machines_ , Bianca. You can’t just replace a part and make it better again.”

“But I can try, can’t I?” She’s almost nose to nose with him, and she’s so _angry_ , so _mad_ that he’d…that he could _ever_ – “At least I try and fix my mistakes. I don’t wallow around, telling stories about what I should have done instead.”

“Like I’d write stories about my own mistakes,” he mutters.

“ _Enough._ ” Cassandra wedges herself between them. “We have exhausted this. Let’s leave this place, I am done listening to you argue.”

Varric looks up at her, eyes turned down. “I…Sorry, Seeker.”

She shakes her head, exhaling deeply and following the mage out of the room.

 

* * *

 

“You should get going,” Varric mutters, dropping his things at the camp close by. “Before someone…misses you.”

“Varric…”

“He’s right.” Cassandra puts a hand on her shoulder. “We cannot guarantee you protection unless you are always at Skyhold.”

“You’re welcome to be, of course,” the Inquisitor says brightly. “Always room for more dwarves. You take up so _little_ space.” He grins and the mage rolls his eyes.

“That’s…a nice offer.” Bianca hefts her pack onto her shoulders. “But I should go.”

“Let us arrange for an escort, at least,” Cassandra says. “As far as—”

“I’ve got some of my own men camping over the ridge. They’ve been paid enough to wait a little longer for me. Really, it’s fine.”

“You sure?” Varric moves toward her. “I’ll help you get there myself. Or Tiny and the Chargers could—”

“I’ll be fine.”

Cassandra smiles. “I certainly believe it.”

Bianca sighs. “Right. I’ve got enough light to head out. I won’t take up any more of your time.”

“Bianca—”

“It was good to see you, Varric. I…just write, when this is over. Let me know how it ends.” She gives him a quick hug and pulls back. “You’ve changed, you know. Not a lot, and not for the worse. I like it. Looks good on you.”

“I’ve…had help.”

She laughs. “I don’t doubt it.” She turns to the Inquisitor. “You get him or the Seeker killed, and I’ll feed you your own eyeballs, Inquisitor. You hear me?”

“Quite clearly, my dear.”

“Good.” She turns to Cassandra. “Take care of him, alright? He’s kind of an idiot, sometimes. But…but he’s good.”

“He certainly is.”

“I’m glad to have met you, Cassandra Pentaghast.”

Cassandra smiles. “And I, you, Bianca Davri.”


End file.
